Ben Carson
C2-POTUS
United States of America
On the Trial
If it’s Friday, This Must Be Syracuse
Dear Ben,
I hope things are going swimmingly in your campaign today. Like Paul, you are carrying a new message which must be heard. It sounds like you are having some good effect.
I’d like to send you a few thoughts on the Judiciary, which one day may be yours. In my engineering life, many years ago, I remember one night back around 1986 or so, when I had a crew welding up our slabbing mill, through which the operators had cranked a cold bar, and broke right in half. We were all taking turns welding it up, about a three-day undertaking. We heard a big boom, about 0300, louder than thunder, and with those aftershocks which you feel in your bones and sense more trouble out there somewhere. I peeked out of the slabbing mill, and saw a nice sized chunk of the BOF roof lying in the courtyard. I took a couple of my welders over to see what was up, as I knew I would be getting a phone call soon inquiring of things. They had dropped a water cooled lance in the furnace somehow, encapsulating a chunk of water, which quickly turned to steam, and blew up half the building, the south half. These things happen, nobody was killed. I had a little rig available over at the blast furnace, we had some slag trucks in the vicinity, so I pulled a few people off my crew and we started picking up stuff. I was making a list of spare parts we could start to gather when it got light, and Jack Bush, our CEO, walked up behind me. ‘What happened here?’ he asked, as Jack Jenkins was not in work yet. I told him the roof had just blown off the building due probably to a stuck lance, and he advised me to call the structural shop and get them out posthaste. I replied that I was the structural shop, I was new in town, and we hadn’t met yet. We looked around, and he realized it was my crew loading up debris, cutting up the big chunks, and my trucks were busy hauling. I continued to move up in rank and responsibilities, most of my life.
I think about this time you were working in Australia, and weren’t quite CEO at Johns Hopkins yet. I know John Hopkins was running their emergency rom back then, prior to your hire, they were certainly operating during your period of responsibility, and they are most likely peacefully operating now. A big organization depends on responsible people, and responsible people are pleased to serve the purposes of a large corporation.
The Supreme Court is languishing. I hope one day they may be yours. In the spirit of constructive improvement, I hope you will consider my input. I’m sending you a calendar of the 2016 session, which is issued today. You will note that they have scheduled 36 working days, of 365, and their workload is completely docketed. It’s hard to coordinate nine people’s vacations so far in advance, so you can see they have just scheduled the whole court on vacation for June, July, and August. The trouts bite every day in Vermont, but some days are too rainy. This is customary.
I have a case currently languishing at 5th USCA down in New Orleans, awaiting oral argument or judgment. We have fully briefed the case, since March of this year. Just as a precaution, I’m sending you my draft writ of certiorari to SCOTUS. We won’t be docketed for 2016, which is published today, but I want to be ready for 2017 when it jumps out from behind the corner. Now, I’m just asking, is this any way to run a railroad?
Imagine if we hired nine more Justices, like an A crew and a B crew. We could easily schedule 72 days of work in the hearing chamber, and both crews could easily manage their ex-parte meanings, conferences, inquiries, amici curiae presentations, write-up reviews, et cetera, outside the court, where they now occur, at no inconvenience to anyone. We could accomplish two years of work, in one year. I know that you weren’t the only neurosurgeon at Johns Hopkins, and other neurosurgeons and their crews were and are able to employ that neurosurgical theater, effectively, every day. This is how business is routinely done in America, and why America is such a great place to live.
I think our nine Justices make about $500,000/yr. all in, with $2m or so in staff. Don’t forget they have a batch of interns, who work for free. I was never able to do that, but I hear it’s great for one’s future career, and well worth the expense of $0.00. With two crews working, we would have increased payroll of ~22.5M or so. My case alone, represents a dispute of ~$50 Billion (with a B), and I am certainly willing to drive up to Washington and argue it, at the convenience of the Court, either the A Team, or the B Team. We might be able to achieve our goal in 2016, and 2017 would be open.
Now, imagine an A-Team, a B-Team, a C-Team, a D-Team, an E-Team, an F-Team, a G-Team, an H-Team, a J-Team, and a K-Team. We could accomplish TEN YEARS WORK each year, and 90 more Americans would have good jobs.
This is why You, Donald, and Carly are being received so favorably by Americans all over America. We’ve been Down So Long It Looks Like Up to Us.
Keep up the good work. Non illegitimati carborundum est.
Sincerely yours,
/s/ David McCrae
BTW, I love the bumper sticker. I’m seeing more all around.