Penn & Teller
Las Vegas, USA
I am due to appear in court down in New Orleans this spring. I’ll be presenting oral argument concerning 5USCA #14-51224, a case of both unique legal issue and significant social concern. I’m reaching out for your assistance in presenting my claims.
The actual procedure involves solely myself, presenting the attached oral argument, for fifteen minutes, and answering questions. My opponents will also have the courtesy of a fifteen minute response. They will probably have a large group at the defense table; I have been to this point - a lone voice of sanity. I would love to have a couple minions at my table. You will present the Rubik’s Cubes to the three judges, as referred to in my Prepared Draft Transcript of Remarks (attached). I’d like some solemnity in the presentation, but there will be no stage lighting, orchestra, etc. But wear some nice clothes. I’m going to rent a suitable suit, probably white, with embroidered flowers and such. They have three minutes to solve the cubes, then you can return them to the counsel table. You will only be minions, no speaking parts. And naturally, in court, no film. Private party performance.
That’s it! A morning’s work, during the week, then back to the airport, back to real life. I’m assuming you guys have plenty of frequent flyer miles and probably have plenty left over from 2015. You can come directly after breakfast in Vegas (remember the time difference), or come the night before and we’ll have dinner somewhere nice in New Orleans. I’ll naturally cut you in on the recovery and restitution $$$ when they appear, but as you know these court proceedings sometimes drag on.
If you would like to come out the day before, I’ll be having a ‘teach-in’ on Lafayette Square in front of the court building, and that may be a somewhat bigger production. We’ll be showing movies, The Big Short, Inside Job, 99 Homes, giving away food and stuff, and hopefully providing an educational experience to the populace. We’ll just wing it. You might enjoy it. You would certainly be an asset. I’m sure we can comp you a decent room downtown.
Let me know if you have an interest, and whatever dates you may be blocked out already. We appear at the pleasure of the court, so we’ll have thirty days notice at least. With good reason, I think we have some leeway on dates. You guys are the bomb!